I’m turning 44 tomorrow. Most people don’t like to talk about their age. I don’t really care. I don’t like how it adds up so, but really, it’s a number. It happens to everyone. What’s that saying about death and taxes? Yeah. Happens to us all.
We’re in Hale, MI this weekend with our friends, The Brain Trust. It’s sunny for the first time in WEEKS, and the sky is so blue. I’m sitting in between TWO door walls (sliding glass doors) and the light is heavenly. The gas stove is behind me, and I’m watching my little girls play with the Brain Trust girls across the room. Brain Trust Dad is watching DIY-Nerd Videos on youtube, and his awesome wife is taking a nap. Mr. Wonderful isn’t doing school-work at the moment, because I’m using his laptop. Maybe he is just reading his textbook. I don’t know.
I have happiness to overflowing in my heart. The best birthday gift, ever.
Some amazing things have been happening lately at the Wonderful House. Good things. Things that make me happy, and take away all those sad things that happened before. I’m fighting the urge to get nervous that the good things will all go away at once. Really. Because our family’s recent history ISN’T that everything goes well. To use a phrase my Dad says, it’s often one cussed thing after the next.
- There was a huge sadness in my heart from a relationship that I wasn’t able to fix. That seems to be less of an issue anymore. I’m thankful for that. I have prayed at great length for a breakthrough in my relationship with this person, and pray for them constantly.
- I never stressed completely out during the holidays. I sometimes do, but I decided not to do a few things this year (like cards, sorry if you were expecting one from me!), and it made things much more pleasant for me, and for those around me.
- We had a huge reduction in a bill, which resulted in us getting paid back quite a bit more than we were ever expecting. Twice in the last month.
- Mr. Wonderful is doing wonderfully in school. He makes me so proud. And whatever he ends up doing in life, he is going to be a good one.
- There are many more, but I don’t have the actual time to list them all here. Suffice to say that it’s been good here lately, and I’m happy.
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. Sometimes you hurt and it doesn’t ease up for a long time. Now, here, today… I realize that Mr. Wonderful isn’t the broken man he was after his job loss. He’s not broken by RA, and sinking into a depression anymore. He’s strong, vital, and a great husband and Daddy. He gets the job done. I’m happy to see this change back to being himself.
The crazy awesome part? I’m feeling like my heart might beat again. I’m feeling like I’m coming out from under a blanket of clouds that has been over me since June of 2013. I have much less bitterness in my heart toward the situation, and see the good things about having moved back home to our Stomping Grounds.
Mr. Wonderful told me about this song some time ago. I wasn’t ready for it then, but I am now. It worked on me for months and now I’m ready to be done with this… attitude of feeling like God didn’t do what we needed Him to do when we were at our lowest. All I have to do is look back on this blog from June 2013 on, to see how people helped us with moving, with finances, with groceries, with LOVING on us until we couldn’t possibly feel unloved anymore. God was there every second and He’s here now, too.
Beginning. Just let that word wash over you. It’s alright now. Love’s healing hands have pulled you through. So get back up. Take step one. Leave the darkness, feel the sun. ‘Cause your story’s far from over, and your journey’s just begun.
The sky today, is SO BLUE. Snow has been lazily falling off and on all day long. The dappled light of the sun is making funny shadows on the skim of snow in the yard. The kids are now working small leather crafts, and it’s time for me to get off the computer. I just never EVER want to forget this moment. These people. This love.