I love positivity, but I can’t even fake it today. There are SO MANY blessings in our lives and so many good things and things to be thankful for… but today, I cannot shake this extreme sense of loss.
20 months ago, when Mr. Wonderful lost his job, it was easy to see the things we were missing out on. His job was sometimes quite stressful, but he loved it and poured his whole being into it. The girls and I shared in the ministry too. There were complications at times, but on the whole, the job was a good fit for our little family.
Today, one week before Easter, I am feeling this loss so much differently. I miss our Clergy friends. I miss the support we gave one another during the hectic season leading up to Easter. I miss our life centering on church work. Yes, we needed a break, but now my heart is crying out for that again.
I hate that there isn’t a button to push to make it better for myself. I have to get back into the evening routine here at Casa Wonderful, but I wonder, would you pray for us, that God leads us where He wants us? Because I can’t see it right now, and I want to be thankful, and I want to have faith. I want to forgive. I want to stop being angry about everything that we lost… but it’s really hard and I can’t do it on my own. It’s a bad moment for me, and I know I’ll be better soon, but I just can’t right now.