#3

Dear —

This is the 3rd letter I’m writing you, though I suspect you’ve only gotten the 2nd one. Sorry about that. I’m including the first one in this envelope as well.

I was not trying to say that you were lying. I was telling you that I was in a bad situation once, and was lying to everyone and hated myself and that God loves you, no matter what. It’s pretty clear that you don’t feel badly about your part in anything. So at least you don’t have guilt to contend with.

Mr. Wonderful and I love you very much.

We were talking today about when I fell in love with your cute little 3 year old self. You’d been out to Grandma’s house at the lake for your 3rd birthday party, and Mr. Wonderful and I were going to take you from your dad’s house to your mom’s house. It was pretty cold outside and I was wearing my favorite brown leather coat that Mr. Wonderful bought me for my 18th birthday present.

You were crying for your daddy in the car on the way to D—. You were so upset that you actually let me hold you in the car. I know it’s not safe, but I was a stupid 20 year old and I didn’t know that I shouldn’t let you out of your car seat. So you came to the sit on my lap in the front seat and we cuddled most of the way to Grandma’s house in D—.

And somewhere, a little more than half-way there, you  barfed up pizza on me… all over my favorite coat. And from then on, I just loved you so much.

Isn’t it funny how I can love you so much after you puked up on me? I think it wasn’t because of being sick, but trying to understand you, that made me love you. Sometimes I guess you just have to look beyond present circumstances to see the person’s heart.

I have known you for your whole life. I put a lot of work into helping raise you into the beautiful woman that you are. I know how good you can be. I know, because I’ve seen it in your for your whole life.

THANK YOU for putting us on your list. We are out of town this week, for my vacation and won’t be able to see you.

HEY!!!! Did you know we’re moving back to our old house on B—- Road? I am really excited to be taking the girls there. They are looking forward to living next to D– and T–. And their huge garden and many, many chickens.

I am starting to think about school shopping for Vaeh and Lisi. School shopping with you was always one of my favorite times… especially when we’re go out to Arby’s for lunch and just spend the whole day together.

I love you, Sweet A—. I’m glad you mentioned about family not being able to shake hands, because a family’s gotta hugggggggggggggggg.

Please tell me how I can send you writing paper, stamps, etc?

I love you.

Aunt Jenny

 

# 2

I had a great night’s sleep last night, and I feel 100% better than yesterday.

#2

Dear —,

I prayed about you and thought about you continually since Mr. Wonderful drove your letter to the post office in C– last night. I hope you’ll get it today, because I want you to know how very much you’re loved, and not just by me, but by our whole family.

This morning, I woke up with a verse that God put in my heart to share with you.

Romans 8:38-39

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k]neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All it means is that there is nothing which can separate us from God’s love.

I know you won’t believe this, but when you were about 8 or 9, I screwed my life up pretty badly. I made some very bad choices that got me into trouble. And NO it’s not the same thing as you are experiencing but I was CERTAIN that God wouldn’t love me anymore. I was lying to everyone I knew, and I hated myself. One day, Mr. Wonderful reminded me of this verse I am sharing with you, and my live has not been the same since.

It’s not easy, but you can do this. It’s the harest thing to ask for something you don’t think you deserve. Just remember, NOTHING will make God – or me – stop loving you.

My love always,

 

Radical Love

This is the note I just wrote to a person I love, who experienced a horrid turn of events today.

Dear ——,

I’m supposed to be a mom tonight but my heart’s not in it. My darling love, my sweet baby girl. The child of my heart, but not my own child.  My heart is laid open bare, I’m completely gutted. Sweet child of God, precious girl;

I love you with everything in my heart.

Everything’s changing for you today. So very many things. You think it’s bad, but I know in my heart it’s the start of something better for you. It may take years to undo this damage, but you are capable, even if you’re mad about today’s events.

I know you don’t want to hear from me about it, but I love you and I’m not retreating. I’m not going anywhere.  And God loves you. He’s never left your side. He won’t love you more or less than he does right now..

God’s love is radical. He loves us when we’re at our worst, and at our best. He loves us when we’re in the middle of what we’re doing that we shouldn’t be. And He loves us when we get our heads back on straight again. God cannot see the wrong, because of Jesus -His radical love for us. I pray you see that love right now… today.

Meanwhile, I need to go pray over this.

You are worth everything to me, and I’ll tell you so when I see you again.

Praying blessing on you, sweet girl,