Winds of Change

With so many options before us, we hardly know what to do next, or which way to turn. All we know is that the winds of change are blowing, and this time, in a really good way. Things are about to take a very noticeable turn for the better, though we still don’t know exactly when or where or how.

On my heart today, is the fact that so many friends and family are heartrendingly ANGRY over what happened to Mr. Wonderful and me last summer. (The short story is that Mr. Wonderful has a stalker who is his family member and who spreads lies about him to anyone who will listen.) Mr. Wonderful and I have forgiven this person, and have given up anger and bitterness toward them. As bad as the situation still is for us, we bear no ill will, nor do we wish them harm. 

It’s hard for us to talk about what we miss about the old neighborhood or Mr. Wonderful’s old job, because everyone is so angry on our behalf. In some ways, it’s easier for us to give up the anger when someone else is still carrying the torch, but in this case, I can hardly take it any longer.

Keeping up a grudge hurts the grudge-holder, y’all. It hurts YOU if you are maintaining anger toward anyone for anything, really.

There is such a thing as righteous indignation and that is not at all what I’m talking about. And I’m not saying we should throw a party for this individual who so wronged my family and me. But there comes a time when we say, “Huh, Mr. and Mrs. Wonderful are doing pretty good. They have enough money to sustain them. Their kids are happy. Their home is OK, God has not turned his back on them. Things are looking up for them.”

And then we just let it go.

This is the link for the song, “I lift my life up” by Unspoken. I listened to it tonight on the radio and was convicted to my core. Take a look at the lyrics:

You brought me this far, so why would I question you now?
You have provided, so why would I start to doubt?

I’ve never been stranded, abandoned, or left here to fight alone,

So I’m giving You control.

 

I lift my life, lift my life up. I give it all in surrender.

I lift my heart, lift my heart up, You can have it forever.

 

All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave it in Your hands.

I lift my life, lift my life up.

Have Your way in me.

Have Your way in me.

 

If peace is a river, then let it sweep over me.

If I’m under fire, I know it’s refining me.

When I hear You calling out, I follow now, wherever the road may go.

I know You’re leading me home.

 

I lift my life, lift my life up. I give it all in surrender.

I lift my heart, lift my heart up, You can have it forever.

All my dreams, all my plans, Lord I leave it in Your hands.

I lift my life, lift my life up.

Have Your way in me.

Have Your way in me.

 

Take my life and let it be all for You.

Take my life and let it be all for You.

 

……..

My point is that Mr. Wonderful and I have prayed, we’ve yelled at God, cried bitter tears and have been filled with anguish, We have wrestled and not stopped wrestling since this all began. And finally, we’re feeling peace. We’re feeling free. We’re feeling like we’re going to live and not die. And we pray the same for our friends.

Was it right, what happened? NO. Do we want a repeat, NO WAY. But can we forgive? Yes. Can we stop being angry? We already have. Do we like it? Not always, but to move on, we need to shed the heavy overcoat of anger and bitterness. To move freely, to have peace in life, we need to get rid of the anger.

And honestly, it took me a lot longer than it took Mr. Wonderful. I can remember standing in my laundry room, the sun streaming in on one of those bitter cold days of early spring. I bent over at the waist, and wept on top of my dryer for thirty minutes before I could admit to Mr. Wonderful, “The anger is what has kept me going for the past several months, and if I give it up, will I have anything left?” I argued my point in bitterness for several minutes, until Mr. Wonderful scooped me into his arms and prayed with me, until I had no fight left, until I didn’t want to fight anymore.

That was a miracle, friends. That was a miracle of healing such that I’ve never experienced before.

If you’re struggling with anger, will you pray with me now? And if you’re not, will you pray for those who are?

Father God, something is on my heart today, and it’s bugging me. I have been wrestling over this and it’s making me angry. The injustice, the unfairness is threatening to overtake me and I just can’t get over it! I don’t want to harbor bitterness or anger in my heart, God, but YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS, AND YOU DIDN’T! Speak to my heart, Heavenly Father. Take away this ugliness and hate. Take away my feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. Come into my heart and restore me. Help me out of this pit.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

That’s just a start. You can go on if you need to. 

Philippians 4:5 says: Let your gentleness be evident to all.

That is my driving force this week, and from here onward. May the Lord make it so.