Better Place Today

You know, I was freaking out the other day. I totally lost focus and I didn’t know which end was up. I’m thanking God today is a different day.

Few things are the end of the world as we know it. My favorite quote at the moment is this:

Worrying is paying interest on a debt you may never owe.

Of course, my personal desire is that we stay local, but even if we don’t, it’s still a long way off.. I’m in a much better place today, Praise God.

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Can I Get a Witness?

I don’t need whole lotsa money

I don’t need a big fine car

I’ve got everything that a man could want

I’ve got more than I could ask for….

 

I love that song. Mister Wonderful got his name on my blog because he IS some kind of wonderful. He works nonstop to support me, while I support our family. I know things are about to change, but I am SO discouraged at the moment. 

All of the things, as a pastor’s wife, that I am supposed to know, and live, and believe in, I do. I know that circumstances are fleeting, and I need to keep my eyes on the Lord. I know that He loves me and is in some way perfecting me throughout all of this stuff-I-didn’t-want. I understand that I can’t even begin to understand how much He loves me, and so I just hang onto Jesus with everything in me until something changes. 

I know it already.

I AM JUST SO GEE-GOLLY TIRED OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Wonderful got a call today that a church in Ohio is calling around on his references. IN OHIO.

IN OHIO, MY PEEPS.

And then all I can think is, “Please God, no. Not this after everything else that has happened.” I don’t want to leave our friends and family. I don’t want it to be the right thing, even as I want Mr. Wonderful to have a job, A PAYING JOB, again.

And then I take a deep breath and settle down and look at this whole situation for what it is: an I I I me me me-fest.

Ooops, I did it again.

In this tight-rope walk of life, all I need to do is keep my eyes on Him. Listen to Him and look to Him for guidance.  I looked down again. I lost faith again. I took the enemy by the hand and invited him into my home, make him a cup of coffee and almost asked him to stay before I realized the reason I was even HAVING the heart palpitations, was because I lost focus on my Lord and Savior. I wasn’t trusting for the money to pay this month’s rent, and insurance, AND heat bill. Ohmyword, the heat bill.

So, again, I am turning my eyes upon Jesus, praying that I won’t lost focus again. I’m praying that I won’t LOSE IT when my babies ask to go to a poms clinic and I have to tell them no because I just can’t afford the $25 fee. Praying that somehow, somehow the bills will work out and we’ll have a credit somewhere or my paycheck will be more than I anticipated. 

Does anyone else ever run this close to the edge? Or am I the only freak who runs hot and cold for the Lord? I don’t want to be this way. I want to be in the world, not of it. I want to be His hands and feet. I want to do all kinds of things, but HOW CAN I?

I am so frustrated. And I’m sorry about the downer of a post. I just need to know it’s going to change, soon, because under my own strength, I can take no more. Prayers please?

Perseverance

For 2014, we have chosen not to make resolutions, but to choose a word for our family for the year. An aspiration, really. Many could work, such as hope or peace. Mr. Wonderful and I were mulling it over last night, and we came up with one that will challenge us and center us.

Perseverance.

Romans 5:2-5 (NIV) says:

And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

In the Living Bible, it says:

2 and we confidently and joyfully look forward to actually becoming all that God has had in mind for us to be.

3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient. 4 And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. 5 Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us, and we feel this warm love everywhere within us because God has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.

So that’s it. Our goal of 2014 is perseverance. May God bless us and keep us. May God make it so.