These are the days of Covid 19 Quarantine. My precious daughters have been out of school since the middle of March and we’ve been keeping to ourselves since then… except that I go to work most days. Mr. Wonderful stays home with the sweethearts and is also working from home, keeping kiddos fed, and pets happy. Today he and the kids even put up a smallish swimming pool. Seriously. The Wonderful Family has a swimming pool. I never thought I’d see the day.
Little Sister is now age 12. YES, TWELVE. And she has all the attitude you’d expect to match her age. I seriously get tired of correcting her and following through. Today, twice, I passed her off to her Dad, because I didn’t feel I could remain civil any longer. She’s a strong-willed sweet beautiful blond curly-haired cherub, delivered to us by Almighty God. I remember that, and I defer to one of my old standby phrases, such as, “Ok,” or, “Hmmm. If that’s what you want to believe,” or, “Wow. I wouldn’t have believed that from you,”… you know, things to say to acknowledge her but not to get in the middle of her whirlwind of emotions.
Sweet Darling is so intent on getting a reaction from me, and she acts like nothing NOTHING matters. I dole out a consequence of her actions, and she flippantly shrugs her shoulders and says, “Whatever MOMSTER.” And I want to scream and put her in her place, but I will. not. succumb. to her manipulation and tantrum-makings. Either she has a tantrum, or tries to make me have one. Either way, she is intent on someone flipping out.
I’ll be honest. Today, I did it a couple of times. I threatened. She believed me (because I *always* follow through, even when it steps on my own toes) and amended her actions. Then later, she was showing off in her disobedience for my parents. Then THEY come down on me. I asked hubby-dear to take care of that one. I couldn’t any longer.
—-Have I ever mentioned that this 12-year-old is the then 3-year-old pictured at the top of this blog?
My 13.5 year old daugher, Big Sister, is moody and dark, missing her friends, and obsessed OBSESSED with the condition of her skin. 6 months ago, she wouldn’t shower or wash her face unless you forced the matter. Today, she asked if she could have a pore consultation and an in-depth facial for her birthday, because she feels that her (velvety smooth, perfect and even glowingly translucent, I-can’t-get-my-skin-to-look-like-that-if-I-tried) skin is hag-worthy and downright ugly.
With both girls, I talk them up. I tell them they may wear makeup (at age 13) if they wish, but that they are beautiful on the inside and that shines through to the outside. I tell them that I like their hairstyle if THEY say they like it. I don’t ask them to cut it or let it grow, or keep it curly or straighten it. I tell them that after they are 17, they may have highlights, but no permanent crazy colors unless they are not living under my roof. I tell them double-piercings on their ears after they turn 17, and no tattoos while they live under my roof. I tell them God made them for a special purpose and He delights in them, just the way they are.
I tell them that I like my body. Even though it’s a lie. Because I want to model good habits for them. I tell them that if they change their diet to include more vegetables and fruits, that’s fine, but they cannot eliminate any food group, because life is all about balance. Exercise is fine in moderation, but too much is TOO MUCH. Limiting soda or ice cream is fine, but axing all sugar from one’s diet can be a problem.
I have been told that I am all rules, all the time, but then when they spend the time at someone’s house (our friends, or our parents) they say how wonderful our kids are, and that they are welcome back anytime they wish. We so want them to turn out to be Christ-followers and decent human beings who contribute to society and make a difference in whatever way they choose.
I’m just tired at the moment. Mr. Wonderful is a saint. He’s doing the job I always wished I could do, but I cannot, because I’m working my tail off away from home.
All told, my kids are pretty great. They are funny, and they keep life from being boring. They are generous and caring, and kind *to anyone except each other. My husband is the Dad of the year… husband of the year. I don’t know what we’d do right now without him. I’m truly blessed, but I’m still struggling a bit.
We watched Natalie Grant sing tonight, accompanied by her hubby Bernie Herms on a facebook livestream. That was rather refreshing. And now I’m finishing up the night by blogging for the first time in forever, and watching awesome music on youtube.
I think we can get through this… OK I know it.
Back in December, God spoke to my heart and told me everything was going to be ok and that He was holding me in the palm of His hand, that He wouldn’t leave me or forsake me. I was freaked out at the time COMPLETELY freaked out. And then I forgot about it. Until the 2nd time I was sick, early in March.
Both times I was sick, I thought it was the virus. I still think it was, even though I had an anti-body test last week, which said I was negative. I don’t know. But the second time I was sick, which I truly believe was a reprisal of the first time I was sick, I remembered this thing God had told me. I thought at first that it was a dream, but when I told Mr. Wonderful about it, he said he remembered me telling him this back in December. And THEN it hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered it all. And in March, the Lord reaffirmed that He alone is my source and my comfort and my fortress and my shield.
I was so frightened and so very sick. My chest x-rays showed “something, but we’re not sure what.” The way it was described to me was like covid pneumonia was described. (Except the fallable antibody test says otherwise. Whatever.) I used the CDC’s symptom-checker daily, to see if I should go in to get tested. But then I remembered that He said I was safe and He would take care of me.
It was everything I could do in those moments to trust in the Lord, and not be scared out of my wits. We slept apart to be safe, and then we couldn’t stand being away from each other. When I got feeling a little better, we just slept back-to-back and prayed a bunch.
Tomorrow the pool-water comes. We are doing well currently at weeding and watering our many different marigolds and lilies and tomato and pepper plants. I think it’s going to be ok, I just needed to let off steam,